I Am Fine with That

A poem

I don’t like poets
Poets lie
Or if they don’t, they show the awful humans that they are
Without that lie
21/06/2026
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I don’t like poets Poets lie Or if they don’t, they show the awful humans that they are Without that lie
21/06/2026

Apparition

Do you like words put together in sentences?
I sure fucking don’t

I like them separated
So they mean vague things
Like “apparent”
Has anyone ever seen “apparent”?
Has there ever been an apparition of apparent?

Has anyone seen …
…“love”?
21/06/2026
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Do you like words put together in sentences? I sure fucking don’t I like them separated So they mean vague things Like “apparent” Has anyone ever seen “apparent”? Has there ever been an apparition of apparent? Has anyone seen … …“love”?
21/06/2026

***

My back never bent for no one
Even my own parents

My back doesn’t bend to the point that I would rather lie with my back straight face in the dirt
21/06/2026
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My back never bent for no one Even my own parents My back doesn’t bend to the point that I would rather lie with my back straight face in the dirt
21/06/2026

Liar

i lie everyday
some days i lie twice
most people call me an angel
my mother calls me a filthy liar

i tell her this poem isn’t about her
she gaslighted me and so i gaslight her
it is about other daughters who weren’t privileged to have the perfect mother like her
it is for those poor souls

she buys it
i buy us coffee
21/06/2026
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i lie everyday some days i lie twice most people call me an angel my mother calls me a filthy liar i tell her this poem isn’t about her she gaslighted me and so i gaslight her it is about other daughters who weren’t privileged to have the perfect mother like her it is for those poor souls she buys it i buy us coffee
21/06/2026

Perseverance

my parents are good people
that’s what makes it so hard to hate them

but I persevere
21/06/2026
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my parents are good people that’s what makes it so hard to hate them but I persevere
21/06/2026

Breakfaster

In my calendar,
I set time for poetry
from 6:15 to 6:45
every morning
I am a poet

and a little bit of a breakfaster
I try to breakfast faster
but it is rarely accomplished

from 6:15 to 6:45
i am a poet
because that is
about as much
as I can take
of being one.
12/08/2025
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In my calendar, I set time for poetry from 6:15 to 6:45 every morning I am a poet and a little bit of a breakfaster I try to breakfast faster but it is rarely accomplished from 6:15 to 6:45 i am a poet because that is about as much as I can take of being one.
12/08/2025

Fishes

I heard “fishes” and then I suddenly remembered…
“rybov”… wy prodaete rybov?
that was a meme that all knew from one’s grandaunt to a kid
and it was about fishes
cats
and also fishes
and there was a kid here talking about fishes
he was fascinated
because they moved under water
like he wanted to soar through air
but they smelled funny
and they felt slimy
and he wanted to touch them more
and he was only five

and there was this kid
he was only six
and i thought
maybe these two don’t wanna hate each other
maybe they could hold hands and pick at the little fishes brought to the breaker line by the disweather
maybe they wouldn’t bring on bad weather
maybe they could talk about things that are really important
like fishes
21/06/2026
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I heard “fishes” and then I suddenly remembered… “rybov”… wy prodaete rybov? that was a meme that all knew from one’s grandaunt to a kid and it was about fishes cats and also fishes and there was a kid here talking about fishes he was fascinated because they moved under water like he wanted to soar through air but they smelled funny and they felt slimy and he wanted to touch them more and he was only five and there was this kid he was only six and i thought maybe these two don’t wanna hate each other maybe they could hold hands and pick at the little fishes brought to the breaker line by the disweather maybe they wouldn’t bring on bad weather maybe they could talk about things that are really important like fishes
21/06/2026

Vixen

Words used to be fun and now they are a prison for thoughts I can not say. There is no boundary between what I think and what I despise. I am surrounded. No help will come. Everyone is blissfully girt by their own nightmares. I wish I could ignore the nightmares. If you think that’s creepy, you’ve never lived.

There is a calling, it is pale and weak and does not listen to me. It sneers and mocks me and it might be a disguise. I can never tell, and I will probably never tell. I wish I could tell good from evil, but no apples I ate helped. My dentist explicitly forbade me from eating apples so now I am appleless and unable to tell right from wrong.

I wish words meant something. But they don’t. I don’t even know why I’m trying. I am writing all the time but it is all vain and futile. It is like I think I am better than others and the worst at the same time. I could never kill a person, but I really wish I could.

I wake up every morning next to a lady, skinned and smiling. She bares her teeth because she can not cover them. I forgot to mention I also sleep next to her. I avoid mirrors because I am afraid to see my own face skinned. There are pieces of meat all over the ceiling. I live in an abattoir. Which is why I never smile.

Lady doesn’t speak, she thinks into my head. I know nothing about her but everything about me. She tells me. She does not withhold.

I have been dancing with the lights on. I am terrified to turn them off because the meat might move. So I am dancing. I do not want to hurt the visitors and I haven’t slept for days. I wish I could just…

I wish.

She whispers into my ear, not by sound, by invasion, she calls. She entices. She tells me hell is here and it can not get worse. So i get up and dance again. To jolly no-brain music that makes me shake my ass. Have you ever driven demons out by shaking your ass?

The woman wants to make love to me. Or so she says. She is always there. She never scolds me for leaving. She is an angel. In a horrible, terrible disguise.

I still can’t tell right from wrong.

When I get tired, I lie down and stare into her eyes. I find it strangely comforting and I prefer it to having her behind my back, grinning.

She might be lying.

She might be me.

I get home from work, being careful to turn on the lights instantly. My hand creeps into the ajar door, terrified of touching something other than the switch. I know the meat is there, I just do not want to see it.

She is there. She has been waiting for me all day. Unlike others.

I wish I had a cat.

But cats deserve better.

I have slept before. But she follows me. She is kind and accommodating. We made love falling into the abyss. We fell and fell and it felt as though we flew.
21/06/2026
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Words used to be fun and now they are a prison for thoughts I can not say. There is no boundary between what I think and what I despise. I am surrounded. No help will come. Everyone is blissfully girt by their own nightmares. I wish I could ignore the nightmares. If you think that’s creepy, you’ve never lived. There is a calling, it is pale and weak and does not listen to me. It sneers and mocks me and it might be a disguise. I can never tell, and I will probably never tell. I wish I could tell good from evil, but no apples I ate helped. My dentist explicitly forbade me from eating apples so now I am appleless and unable to tell right from wrong. I wish words meant something. But they don’t. I don’t even know why I’m trying. I am writing all the time but it is all vain and futile. It is like I think I am better than others and the worst at the same time. I could never kill a person, but I really wish I could. I wake up every morning next to a lady, skinned and smiling. She bares her teeth because she can not cover them. I forgot to mention I also sleep next to her. I avoid mirrors because I am afraid to see my own face skinned. There are pieces of meat all over the ceiling. I live in an abattoir. Which is why I never smile. Lady doesn’t speak, she thinks into my head. I know nothing about her but everything about me. She tells me. She does not withhold. I have been dancing with the lights on. I am terrified to turn them off because the meat might move. So I am dancing. I do not want to hurt the visitors and I haven’t slept for days. I wish I could just… I wish. She whispers into my ear, not by sound, by invasion, she calls. She entices. She tells me hell is here and it can not get worse. So i get up and dance again. To jolly no-brain music that makes me shake my ass. Have you ever driven demons out by shaking your ass? The woman wants to make love to me. Or so she says. She is always there. She never scolds me for leaving. She is an angel. In a horrible, terrible disguise. I still can’t tell right from wrong. When I get tired, I lie down and stare into her eyes. I find it strangely comforting and I prefer it to having her behind my back, grinning. She might be lying. She might be me. I get home from work, being careful to turn on the lights instantly. My hand creeps into the ajar door, terrified of touching something other than the switch. I know the meat is there, I just do not want to see it. She is there. She has been waiting for me all day. Unlike others. I wish I had a cat. But cats deserve better. I have slept before. But she follows me. She is kind and accommodating. We made love falling into the abyss. We fell and fell and it felt as though we flew.
21/06/2026

those boys that pestered me at high school

for instance those boys that pestered me at high school
they weren’t particularly atrocious,
just should have washed more and cussed less,
if i found out one of them was longing for me,
was keeping my photos close to his heart,
was muttering my name in his sleep,
if i found out they pined and sighed and yearned
I’d be creeped out
At the very least I’d be weirded out

if i found out they wrote poetry, I might rethink.
Actually—I take it back.
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for instance those boys that pestered me at high school they weren’t particularly atrocious, just should have washed more and cussed less, if i found out one of them was longing for me, was keeping my photos close to his heart, was muttering my name in his sleep, if i found out they pined and sighed and yearned I’d be creeped out At the very least I’d be weirded out if i found out they wrote poetry, I might rethink. Actually—I take it back.

Lullaby

I am lulling myself to sleep
Sleepy eyes
Loopy lines
Waves caressing cellulose

Flowing tide
wipes out pique.
Landswell?
I wish it did.

I suffer at night
for the hurt I make by day.
The wave comes back.
Why wouldn’t it?
21/06/2026
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I am lulling myself to sleep Sleepy eyes Loopy lines Waves caressing cellulose Flowing tide wipes out pique. Landswell? I wish it did. I suffer at night for the hurt I make by day. The wave comes back. Why wouldn’t it?
21/06/2026

Theatre

what good actors are Australians
how jovial , how masterful
how well do they pretend to care

now in Russia, I am surrounded
by horrible actors
even the most Machiavellian ones
are horrible actors

they are horrible actors
and i am fine with that
21/06/2026
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what good actors are Australians how jovial , how masterful how well do they pretend to care now in Russia, I am surrounded by horrible actors even the most Machiavellian ones are horrible actors they are horrible actors and i am fine with that
21/06/2026

Mothers

my mother dressed and fed me
and i gave her nothing in return

my Mother dressed and fed many countries
and they gave nothing in return

our mothers dressed and fed many countries
and they gave nothing in return

our mothers dressed and fed us
and we gave nothing in return
21/06/2026
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my mother dressed and fed me and i gave her nothing in return my Mother dressed and fed many countries and they gave nothing in return our mothers dressed and fed many countries and they gave nothing in return our mothers dressed and fed us and we gave nothing in return
21/06/2026

Lavender van

lavender van, vaguely fascist
has mesmerised me for so long
I started to believe
the German car industry
had something to do
with how sleek you look
22/06/2026
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lavender van, vaguely fascist has mesmerised me for so long I started to believe the German car industry had something to do with how sleek you look
22/06/2026

Arteries

i feel as though i am connected to The Divine by my arteries and Its arteries
and I feel as all of you there are pressing against Our arteries.
21/06/2026
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i feel as though i am connected to The Divine by my arteries and Its arteries and I feel as all of you there are pressing against Our arteries.
21/06/2026

A letter to myself

I don’t like you,
but you’ll have to do
21/06/2026
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Laura

Проводник

I Am Fine with That

A poem

Apparition

***

Liar

Perseverance

Breakfaster

Fishes

Vixen

those boys that pestered me at high school

Lullaby

Theatre

Mothers

Lavender van

Arteries

A letter to myself

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